We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Desperado

by CRUCIFIX

supported by
Remy
Remy thumbnail
Remy ''Georgia Rain'' is a beautiful song. One of my favorites, with ''My Way''. Favorite track: Georgia Rain.
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $9.99 USD  or more

     

1.
VERSE 1 (Crucifix) I live life like a renegade drifter, losing myself on the open road. Running from the pains of a sinner, cuz ain’t no band-aid for a broken soul. The Devil’s steady tearing out the best of me, screaming “fair game” but he must’ve lied. Cuz now there ain’t too much left of me, but I ain’t slowing down until I’m justified. I done been steady swinging at the bottom of a hangman’s rope. Maybe it’s a sad plan dreaming, I’m a madman screaming... but I can’t stop believing there’s hope. Oh Lord. HOOK I’m like a dead man walking back from the grave to find where I went wrong. Everything I love is dead and gone, every night I sing this dead man’s song. I got hell on a trigger, got a bottle of Jack and I’m right where I belong, stuck in between heaven and being dead wrong, so from here until I’m dead and gone I’m a dead man walking. VERSE 2 (The Lacs) This life has got me barely holding by a single thread, gripping on my pistol, squeezing triggers until my finger’s red. A lot of folks they like to judge, nudging then they hang their head. Hypocrites that don’t give a shit, no common sense don’t bring the dead. Name calling and pointing fingers and laying blame don’t bother me, as long as y'all don’t touch me, my family and my property. My prophecy wasn’t prodigy, in the ground I’ll probably be but I’m standing up and I’m raising hell so won’t you come and follow me. I’m a cornered up, pissed off cracker in a cage. Get you one coin missed call, take it to the grave. I guess I’ll take the mask off and let you judge me, but the looking didn’t last long cuz bitch I’m ugly. I can’t blend in, eyes cut you to the bone, now my covers been blown, I’m supposed to be alone. Like a hairpin trigger kill, I don’t know we’re wrong but I keep singing this song and I’m stuck under a stone. HOOK I’m like a dead man walking back from the grave to find where I went wrong. Everything I love is dead and gone, every night I sing this dead man’s song. I got hell on a trigger, got a bottle of Jack and I’m right where I belong, stuck in between heaven and being dead wrong, so from here until I’m dead and gone I’m a dead man walking.
2.
My Way 04:41
HOOK I’m living life my way, full throttle down the highway. Leaving behind what’s behind me, living like I can’t die chasing another sunrise. I’m living life my way, full throttle down the highway. If today is my last day, know that I died alive riding til the sunrise. VERSE 1 When the day gets dark and the lights go out, and I’m looking back on everything I’ve lost trying to figure out what this life’s about. Doubt hits hard like a 12 gauge, stuck in the muck of my old ways just trying to get lost in the moment and forget about the past because the past is like a damn cage. Be a man that can stand when the time’s right, be you, be true in the limelight but my thoughts are lost with each shot, so rocked and still shocked by the view in my hindsight. Walking tall through hell so steady, still living cuz hell wasn’t ready. Everything in my past is so heavy so you know I stay high like a jacked up Chevy. Cuz there’s nothing better than finally letting go like the world is mine and I was born a drifting soul, right. A little whiskey and an open road, riding through the night chasing another sunrise. HOOK VERSE 2 When the sun goes down and the drinks go around, and I’m thinking back on everything I’ve lost, the view from up top ain’t bad looking down. Another day another State line, I’m done letting the Devil trying to take mine. Living life one city at a time just tipping back that moonshine, because the pain’s so constant but enough is enough with the nonsense. All the women and the drugs and the violence, weighing like a million-one tons on my conscience. So i put it in a bag of bones and when the wheels stop rolling I’m back at home, then stop... Put the peddle to the metal when I wake up in the morning then I’m gone. There’s nothing better than finally letting go like the world is mine and I was born a drifting soul, right. A little whiskey and an open road, riding through the night chasing another sunrise. I want to die alive, put the world to my back and ride. HOOK BRIDGE I’m living like I’ll never die, cigarette ashes blowing through the night. I put the world to my back and just ride, no regrets I just want to die alive. I lean back and just let it go like everything in the past is old. I put it on my mama I’m a drifting soul and these tires been through plenty of hell before. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, I’m done with that, ain’t looking back... now it’s nothing but my way and the highway.
3.
HOOK I’m raising hell in a Chevrolet. It must’ve been the Devil in the Fireball. Let the police take me away and we can just blame it on the alcohol. Cuz I’ll be damned on a good day if I ain’t lit no not at all. I’m just a good man running from the man that I’m becoming while I’m dancing with the Devil in the Fireball. VERSE 1 I pour pain on the beat and let it bleed like I ain’t human and I’m gon’ stand on my feet no matter what nobody around me doing. Cuz I done been through the thickest fire, soul looking like I drug it through some chicken-wire. About 20 plus years past wondering why, let’s keep it real some birds don’t get to fly. I ain’t a man to shed tears about the past or some bullshit that I can’t change, but I found the Devil at the bottom of a bottle so I told him “pick me up if you’re going that way.” HOOK I’m raising hell in a Chevrolet. It must’ve been the Devil in the Fireball. Let the police take me away and we can just blame it on the alcohol. Cuz I’ll be damned on a good day if I ain’t lit no not at all. I’m just a good man running from the man that I’m becoming while I’m dancing with the Devil in the Fireball. VERSE 2 The Devil told me, “take a dip in the bottle and start swimming, you can let your troubles disappear into the fire. Tomorrow ain’t nothing but more of the same, you can bottle it up or turn that bottle up high.” It got the room spinning like a twister, I’m so messed up, shooting like a stolen pistol on the creep. Lock and load. Steady scheming on a dream of seeing meaning while I’m leaning like a dirty politician on a demon. Because I’m broken at the bottom, always feeling rotten, always feel forgotten, like I’m just the product of a broken condom. Or a sip short of Heaven, let the Fireball tell ‘em. Then cock back, take a shot straight to the cerebellum. Like click, click, boom! HOOK I’m raising hell in a Chevrolet. It must’ve been the Devil in the Fireball. Let the police take me away and we can just blame it on the alcohol. Cuz I’ll be damned on a good day if I ain’t lit no not at all. I’m just a good man running from the man that I’m becoming while I’m dancing with the Devil in the Fireball. OUTRO It’s got me dancing with the Devil tonight. ‘Til it’s gone, I’m gonna kill it until it’s gone, I’m gonna pick that bottle up and and tip it back until it’s gone.
4.
VERSE 1 Empty bottles sit scattered on a nightstand, cigarette butt burning in my right hand, laying blacked out covered in some white sand... if you’re talking role model, bitch I ain’t the right man. Matter of fact I’m a pretty big mess, holding on to what little I got left. I put my sin through your speakers to confess, pouring pain into song to get the shit up off my chest. I’m a Dirtbag, so far from a role model, feeling like I sold my soul for a cold bottle. Now I’m swimming at the bottom of my own sorrow, running dick first to the grave, going full throttle. Everybody’s like, “What the hell you thinking?” Cutting line after line after line when I’m drinking. So I’ll be the first to say “fuck the world” without blinking because you hypocrites wasn’t there for me when I was sinking, now I’m gone! HOOK I’m lost in life, I’m stuck in my wayz. It’s like I can’t go right because I’m stuck in my way. I got nothing left in life, nothing left to say and I wonder why I’m always stuck in my way. I’m like a force I can’t name, I’m stuck in my wayz. Another day more of the same, I’m stuck in my wayz. It’s like I’m never gonna change, I’m stuck in my way. I’m the cause of my pain I’m stuck in my wayz. VERSE 2 I ain’t trying to make my habits my excuse, cuz in the end I’m to blame, what’s the use? Either be a man and face the fucking truth or face God as a sinner with 190 proofs. I can’t lie, I’m living on the edge in life and sometimes I just want to get ahead in life, sometimes I just want to numb my head at night, but sometimes I just want to be dead in life! Cuz on the real, I’m sick of fucking up. I’m sick of looking back and always hurting who I loved. I’m sick of seeing them holding on until they had enough and now they’re walking out the door because they’re finally giving up and so I’m praying “Dear God! I really need some help! I’m failing at this life, I can’t do it by myself! Put me in the grave just don’t put me on the shelf! All I’m asking for is strength just to get me through this hell and it’s hell until I’m gone! I’m lost in life, I’m stuck in my wayz. It’s like I can’t go right because I’m stuck in my way. I got nothing left in life, nothing left to say and I wonder why I’m always stuck in my way. HOOK OUTRO I’m stuck, stuck in, stuck in my wayz. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I ain’t never gon’ change tonight, no I ain’t never gon’ change tonight cuz I’m always stuck in my way. I’m like a force I can’t name, I’m stuck in my wayz. Another day more of the same, I’m stuck in my wayz. It’s like I’m never gonna change, I’m stuck in my way. I’m the cause of my pain I’m stuck in my wayz. You ever get that feeling? That you done fucked up so hard for so long that ain’t no coming back? That’s where I live most of my life at. But don’t spend a lifetime trying to kill old habits. Just spend today trying to make one worth having.
5.
VERSE 1 I’m living by the moment, running from myself to get away from this stranger. I’m dying by the moment, watching this life just slip away, through my fingers. I don’t know what it takes but I gotta see that everything that I am is what’s killing me. Kept alive by the Devil that’s inside of me, beating my heart so cold. HOOK These Devil’s Eyez only cry in black ink from their sorrow, but I’m in hell dead or alive, staring through this Devil’s gaze... living for the moment. VERSE 2 (Sean P) Yeah, I done learned a lesson, never leave the house without packing a Smith and Wesson, never ride a Harley with Colors and no blessing, these streets is a motherfucker and I promise they’ll leave you messy nigga. Yeah, I got a confession, I’m guilty than a motherfucker, you see how I’m dressing. Up and down the highway man the only time I’m stretching is when I make it home and still don’t sleep without a weapon nigga. Yeah, and I see that slipped your mind, cuz I’m gong through hell but never did I stop my grind. Yeah, tell em one more time. I’m going through hell but never did I stop my grind. Yeah, when it seems like I’m gonna fail just believe in ya patna, you know shawty keep a scale. Yeah, you know I’m gonna keep it real, one double O... I just need you to do this here. HOOK VERSE 3 It’s like I’m riding down a lifeline, black tears dripping down my face. Alone in the dark, alone in this hell I’ve made. Alone on this road I paved, full throttle to an lonely grave. Alone in the dark, alone in this hell and more and more I slip away praying my heart don’t cave to this Devil’s maze. It’s so cold, I can’t hold on and on and on until my fire dies. More and more I slip away praying my soul don’t fade to this Devil’s gaze. I’m so blind... until I blind these Devil’s Eyez.
6.
Desperado 03:30
7.
Georgia Rain 04:15
VERSE 1 I done been at the top looking down at the world where the sky stops, I done seen things happen up there that’ll make you never want the top. Sometimes I long for the bottom to remember where I’m from, instead of laying like a bullet in the barrel of a dead man’s gun. Cuz I been through hell and tasted heaven the same. Fortune and fame feel a lot like shackles and chains. There’s something so priceless in a simple man’s dreams, cuz this world ain’t all of the gold and all the silver it seems. HOOK I wanna get lost where no one knows my name. I wanna be free of the things I can’t change. I wanna get high and forget all my pain. I wanna dance in the middle of the storm walking on this Georgia Rain. VERSE 2 I done been in the middle looking around at the world like a sweatshop, working 40 plus hours every week just trying to get the bills to stop. I’ve been told another man’s goal is worth chasing until my skin gets old, living for the weekend coming when the liquor starts running and I need another check to blow. Cuz I been through Monday and tasted Friday the same. Working for another man feel a lot like shackles and chains. But there’s something so priceless in a working man’s dreams, cuz this world ain’t all of the gold and all the silver it seems. HOOK I wanna get lost where no one knows my name. I wanna be free of the things I can’t change. I wanna get high and forget all my pain. I wanna dance in the middle of the storm walking on this Georgia Rain. VERSE 3 I done been at the bottom looking up like everything that shines is gold, cuz I could use a little gold in my pockets when the world starts getting cold. I’m playing that Lotto tomorrow just praying that I might win, cuz I’m gonna buy a couple cars and a mansion then I’m gone just like the wind! I been on empty, had a full tank the same. Having nothing to your name feels a lot like shackles and chains. But there’s something so priceless in a hungry man’s dreams, cuz this world ain’t all of the gold and all the silver it seems!
8.
Forget Life 05:49
9.
HOOK Another long walk through a short fire, walking praying I can make a deal with God. I can’t pray and dismiss the moment I kissed the Devil on the hand and poisoned these lips. If only I could make a deal with God. VERSE 1 This life’s a long road through a short fire, it’s like I’m burning alive but I can’t seem to die. Sometimes I feel like my whole life’s a fucking lie, and I can’t bring myself to cry no matter how hard I try. I’ve been broken for so many years, pretending on the outside like I ain’t never known tears. Now this cage that I’ve created is the sum of my fears, cuz I ain’t never living up to how good I appear. So now I’m walking through these flames, pockets spilling with sin, throwing rocks at heaven’s gates begging, trying to get in. Feeling lost and abandoned, I ain’t got no friends. I’m so sick of living life Lord when will it end? Dear God, if You love me then why’d You leave me like this? Broke and hurting with these deeds I can’t never dismiss? But give me one last change and I promise You this! I’ll spend my last days untying these devilish kiss with these lips. HOOK VERSE 2 This life’s a long road to a longer fire if I can’t get this heart to bend before the day I die. Sometimes I feel like what I believe is just a fucking lie, and I can’t bring myself to pray no matter how hard I try. I’ve spent a lifetime broke on my knees, begging for strength to walk tall past the pain that I’ve seen. I never claimed to be perfect, just a slow growing seed but it only takes one mistake to erase a life of good deeds. There’s no such thing as forgiveness or love in this mess, only those that you’ve hurt and those you ain’t hurt yet. I’ve put my kids through hell that they’ll never forget and that’s the one thing in this life that I’ll forever regret. God forgive me, God love me, God bring me on back. Make me something to be proud of when my family looks back, cuz I done come too far to fail and die in my sins... but if that’s the only road to heaven then I’d do it again and make... HOOK VERSE 3 I’m a lost cause that’s what my mama said, holding onto hell until I’m finally dead. Killed by the stubbornness in my veins. I’m a lost cause that what the preacher said, throwing up prayers while I hang my head, hoping that somebody’s really listening to me. Cuz I walk alone in this fire, prayers outnumbered by trials and God feels like ten million miles away. This bullet ain’t enough to try to kill this love that You still got for me. Another long walk through a short fire, walking praying I can make a deal with God. I can’t pray and dismiss the moment I kissed the Devil on the hand and poisoned these lips. If only I could make a deal with God. HOOK
10.
My Name Is 03:25
VERSE 1 It all started back in 1994 bwoi, a young kid growing up in a war bwoi. Staring death in the eye toe to toe bwoi, ducking bullets with my face to the floor bwoi. I done been to the lowest you can go bwoi, I lost everything in life but my soul bwoi. That's why I'll never ever rap like a dope bwoi. Survived killers with AKs and Grenades in a rage at my door bwoi. I started rapping because the pain was deep, and I done seen too much bloodshed to sleep. So I'm geeked to the peak with no words to speak, and all I feel is defeat while I grind my teeth like... "Somebody gotta bleed on somebody's beat Somebody might as well be me." I took a number like I'm meant for the top I'm ready to drop this spot so hot they can't stop me. Inevitable that when you pop you got a world of friends. Never thinking about the time that you be putting in. Now the world and everybody is wondering where you been, but the truth is they just ain't been listening. I'm a little bit of Pac, a little bit of Bone A little bit of David in the Psalms writing songs. A little Outkast, Johnny Cash and some Pastor, call it Vice Versa, reverse the past. My music is therapy to poison the pain and every song like a piece of me, I ain't looking for fame. I ain't never thought about selling my soul for this game But I'm gonna spit so hard that it knows name is... HOOK My name is Crucifix! My name is a daily reminder the pain that's inside of me keeps on dividing me til I nail it to the Crucifix. VERSE 2 I started for the love of the music because it helped me. I was born with struggle in my blood and I know it's out to kill me. Nineteen with a dream ain't gonna back down. Writing raps on the toilet of a crack house. Spitting verses at the cops while they pat down, running by the moment like I'm living in a freestyle. It's I'm shooting every word that's said, It's like I'm aiming at the stars but inside I'm dead. It's like I'm hanging onto nothing but the beats I'm fed. Conversating with the roaches that share my bed. I got nothing in this life but a mountain of people thinking that I'll never make it so they're doubting. I've given so much that I been stopped counting. I sold my only car just to print my first album. Ahhg. Now that's a gamble when no one cares, I put it all out on the table homie I ain't scared. People talkin about, "This dude came from where?" It's been decade since I dropped My Life's Prayer. I'm like a little bit of Biggie, and a little bit of Nas. A little Lyrnard Skynard with a little Goodie Mob. A little Youngbloodz in the mud, smoking bud, "If you don't give a damn, we don't give a fuck!" My music is therapy to poison the pain and every song is like a piece of me, ain't looking for fame. I ain't never thought about selling my soul for this game. But I'm gonna spit so hard that it knows name is... HOOK
11.
Mindfield 04:07
INTRO Sometimes the first ones to judge you are gonna be the ones pretending that they love you. They wash their hands of you and say they’re praying for your purpose, but it takes the dirt to show the world what a real diamond’s worth is... Church! HOOK You don’t know my struggle or where I’ve been, or the hell that my mind feels if you ain’t stood in these shoes I’m walking in. It’s like I’m dancing in a mindfield. Losing myself in a world of pain, I got everybody saying I’m too bad to change. But you ain’t got a finger good enough to point out my sin... if you ain’t been down the roads I’ve been. VERSE 1 I’ll be the first to put it on the table, my life, my heart, my mind ain’t all that stable. My heart is willing but my flesh feels so unable, but I believe that I’m more than a dirty label. I ain’t got no time for no games, I ain’t attracted to a life that’s looking so plain. I’m open about my struggles and you call it profane... whiskey, weed and women with a little bit of cocaine. The only difference between me and a world that talks is I ain’t been ashamed of the road I’ve walked. It’s cuz I’m knowing in the end that I’m only being built upon the roads that I’ve been. That’s Church! HOOK VERSE 2 It’s like I’m living out your taboos, but keep it real your closet’s looking pretty bad too. Cuz more than once you’ve probably walked inside my damn shoes, feeling like your past is permanent just like your tattoos. Sooner or later you’re gonna fall for what the world is saying and start believing that you’re lost and ain’t no point in praying. It’s like your hungry but a change just ain’t on the menu, thinking God ain’t listening cuz He’s just too disappointed in you. Cuz you done failed, you done fell, need rebooted up. You had the world inside your hands and you screwed it up. So put that lesson in your pocket, welcome to the club, cuz I been through what you been through and you been through what a few been too. It’s called Church! HOOK VERSE 3 I came through life scarred, battered, broken, outspoken about my dirt. I wear my sin out on my sleeve and I ain’t changing my shirt. I ain’t afraid to feel the breeze of a few hateful words to find the purpose in my pain and hope that lives in my hurt. I heard that this life’s all about what you look for, and the story ain’t done until the book closes. You can write this page where the good shows and leave the bad in the past where it should go. Think about the pain, don’t climb into bed with it. You can love the past just don’t have a kid with it. Live in every moment like the very last minute, life ain’t about the dirt but it is what you did with it. Church! If you ain’t been down that road then you can’t understand my soul. How you gonna judge me if you don’t know where I’ve been? HOOK
12.
VERSE 1 The truth is living in our eyes, it’s like we’re living separate lives. Cuz something happened on the way to heaven and now we hide behind our lies. We don’t even ever talk, through separate worlds we both walk. Cuz something happened on the way to heaven and now we’re running in the dark. I know you said forever, I know I said forever, I never thought I’d see the day that we’re not together but we’ve both been playing hands that we can’t hide. HOOK We got dreams and life, we got hopes and time, steady falling out of love while we’re livin’ in a house of cards. We got secrets and lies, we got pain behind our eyes, just pretendin‘ for the kids while everything falls apart. VERSE 2 Never not once in my life did I wish that we’d end up in a place like this, where every single word is like a blade to the wrist, cutting us down, I’m beating walls with my fists. The truth is we ain’t never seeing eye to eye, we done been through way too much to hide and sooner or later all the weight of the past is like a house of cards just waiting to crash. I know I did you wrong I hate that. Ain’t nothing I can do to change that. You’re hurting and I know you want payback... I’m gonna take that knowing I deserve that. I guess love is like a freight train, hauling our mistakes and our past pain. There’s only so much hell you can ride through together before love derails. HOOK VERSE 3 I know you said forever, I know I said forever, I never thought I’d see the day that we’re not together but we’ve both been playing hands that we can’t hide. We got dreams and life, we got hopes and time, steady falling out of love while we’re livin’ in a house of cards. We got secrets and lies, we got pain behind our eyes, just pretendin’ for the kids while everything falls apart. HOOK
13.
VERSE 1 (Crucifix) It’s all picture perfect until the love is gone and your world has been ripped in half. Cuz you don’t really know what’s going on behind the smiles in a photograph. I see you got married just the other day, Congratulations... is what I’m supposed to say. It felt a little soon to me, you throwing that bouquet but it’s all a memory now, whatever takes the pain away. Just know I cried too, thinking about the things that we both been through. You trying to hurt me, me trying to hurt you, I wanna Control-Z but I can’t undo all the pain and lies that broke us, in tiny doses. Tried our best but you and I were hopeless, just trading coldness like we’re both walking around in comas praying the other one would end it. This shit ain’t what we intended, I’m just so sick of pretending. Some days I’m sorry, some days I’m angry, some days I just don’t have the fucking patience to sit and argue with crazy and it’s crazy... HOOK It’s all picture perfect until the love is gone and your world has been ripped in half. Cuz you don’t really know what’s going on behind the smiles in a photograph. You can fake a smile for a photo and show the whole world your happy life. Try to drag your heart where it won’t go and still cry yourself to sleep at night. Sometimes a picture paints a thousand lies and it’s a picture that we hide behind. A snapshot on a moment you’ll remember for the pain trying to frame it as a happy life. VERSE 2 (Hard Target) It’s all out of focus, out of focus. Smile enough then pray that God will notice, God will notice. Find your moment a defining closing when you and I controlled it. Why are you and I opponents and you deny the notion? Well shit, I’ve tried to mend your older wounds, you fight when no one’s holding you. Your smile is just distracting the fact that you’re still emotional and nothing seems to set us straight. We need to go our separate ways. I know you’d like to sit and talk but I’ve got nothing left to say. I’m fucking done! I’m fucking done! Let’s see how deep our love would run, our love would run. You can tell the world your happy but behind that door you’ve come undone. You can try to filter out that pain but you know it’s only a cover-up. It seems there’s nothing gonna change about us, ain’t no other way around it. I just go insane around you, yet you still complain about it. Why are you still hanging on with your picture perfect life and the lies you use in the frame around it? HOOK It’s all picture perfect until the love is gone and your world has been ripped in half. Cuz you don’t really know what’s going on behind the smiles in a photograph. You can fake a smile for a photo and show the whole world your happy life. Try to drag your heart where it won’t go and still cry yourself to sleep at night. Sometimes a picture paints a thousand lies and it’s a picture that we hide behind. A snapshot on a moment you’ll remember for the pain trying to frame it as a happy life.
14.
VERSE 1 In this life, everything you love could disappear in the blink of an eye... hold onto it while you got it. All I ever wanted was to be the greatest man in your life. That rugged knight in shinning armor on your darkest of nights. So when the world around you shatters and you’re lost in your fears and all your friends disappear you know your Daddy is here. I can still remember the tears on the day you were born, the nurses laid you in my arms and I sang you that song. You had heard it for nine months just never saw my face... you stopped crying and all the nurses cried in your place. You were My Breath baby, the air that I breathe. The only thing in this life to come out decent in me. The little angel that saved me from me and put me in check, so I tattooed it on my neck so I could never forget. I tried my best to be a father, every day was a fight cuz being a father ain’t something you learn overnight, so we learned it together. You grew and I grew. You were so innocent and I’d die before I let the world take it from you. I’d be your Superman when your world fell apart. That one man in your life that would never break your heart. That one man you could count on to do what was right... but it seems Superman done found his Kryptonite. HOOK All I ever wanted was to be the man of your dreams. Your greatest hero when the world inside you screams but I failed and there’s no words I could use to fix what I’ve broken so I write it in a letter to you. Vanessa this is my Letter to You. VERSE 2 The second time around I figured there’d be less scars but from the beginning me and your mama felt that you wasn’t ours. So many nights on the couch I watched her cry so hard, like you were this little life that we were just borrowing from God. There was something so different about you, you could see it in your eyes. It was like He opened up your chest and put His heart inside. It wasn’t until you finally learned to pray that I understood... your whole life would be a battle between evil and good. You were this fragile piece of glass He held in His hands, He started showing you things that only you’ll understand. Visions of the face of Jesus, where we go when we die. You’d sit out in the grass for hours staring up at the sky. And I remember thinking “Jesus please hold this girl tight”, until you climbed into my arms crying that night. You said “Daddy, I ain’t never telling the kids at school, because I don’t want them to convince me that it wasn’t true. These things I’ve seen, I believe that they’re only for me cuz down the road is something hard where I’m gonna need to believe. You had the words of an Angel but just didn’t understand that what was coming would be the work of Daddy’s hands. HOOK All I ever wanted was to be the man of your dreams. Your greatest hero when the world inside you screams but I failed and there’s no words I could use to fix what I’ve broken so I write it in a letter to you. Amilia this is my Letter to You. VERSE 3 From the moment you could walk all you did was run, like a little blonde bullet flying out of a gun. Your mind was faster than your feet and the shoes you were in. You’d hit that wall face first, get up and do it again. And once you hit that deep end and your heart was pounding, you knew that Daddy would be those arms to keep you from drowning. It’s the little things about you I cherish and save, that little scar beside your nose and your goodbye wave. Them little notes you put in my bag when I leave out for tour, the way you set out your school clothes all over the floor. My little genius, go get it girl, the world is yours. But as for me, I wanted to give you so much more. One thing I never wanted was being a dad from a distance, where all the sudden you grow up, I turn around and I missed it. Where so much time has passed, you’ve forgot who I am. When it’s you walking down the isle but it ain’t me holding your hand. I know the blame is all mine but the pain is yours. Just keep reading your Bible just keep doing your chores. Keep praying, keep believing, keep trusting the Lord and I promise one day baby girl you’ll see our family restored! HOOK All I ever wanted was to be the man of your dreams. Your greatest hero when the world inside you screams but I failed and there’s no words I could use to fix what I’ve broken so I write it in a letter to you. Malaika this is my Letter to You.
15.
Forsaken 05:00
VERSE 1 Hungover Sunday morning in a church pew, smelling like cigarettes and hard booze. And every word of the sermon feels like it was written just for me. So ashamed I don’t want nobody to see. The pastor looking right into my dead soul, I swear to God it feels like he already knows. I look around the room and so does everybody else, so I step out the church door right back into hell. HOOK Once again this world is breaking me. It’s got me wondering where my sin has taken me. Cuz I did things this week even I just can’t believe, on the flip my religion has forsaken me. VERSE 2 I got a couple women in my past life, a couple women from last night and now I’m tiptoeing around all the lies that I can’t hide, trying to figure out how I’m gonna tell my wife. I come home, ain’t nothing in my world the same. Different faces in every single picture frame. Divorce papers on the nightstand and my bags right by the door. This war zone ain’t my happy home no more. HOOK Once again this world is breaking me. It’s got me wondering where my sin has taken me. Cuz I did things last night even I just can’t believe, on the flip my family has forsaken me. VERSE 3 Cocaine on a tour bus somewhere outside of Las Vegas. Another night, another city. All the blinking lights are so pretty, ain’t nothing but a dark desert on the other side. My friends don’t like my personal decisions, they don’t wanna be nowhere around the way I’m living. Ain’t no helping hand, they don’t understand. Not a thought, not a prayer, they don’t give a damn. So I’m left trying to put all the pieces back together alone. HOOK Once again this world is breaking me. It’s got me wondering where my sin has taken me. Cuz I’ve done things today even I just can’t believe, on the flip my friends have forsaken me. OUTRO So I wonder what hope looks like... cuz ain’t no forgiveness in this life. I got sin upon sin upon sin on my mind, praying that these scars will fade in time. God I hope they fade. Praying that these scars are gonna fade in time. I’m so done with this world just breaking me, cuz it don’t matter where my sin has taken me. If there’s one thing left in this life that I believe... it’s that God never once has forsaken me.

credits

released May 17, 2019

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

CRUCIFIX Atlanta, Georgia

contact / help

Contact CRUCIFIX

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like CRUCIFIX, you may also like: